Ive been MIA now im BIA…

HELLOOOOOOO EVRYONE!!! LET ME TELL YOU…. I have NOT I repeat NOT been good this past week, well past week and a half. I have been trying really hard to find the reasons why I fell off track. In the beginning it was just the stresses of life. School, work, studying, and a house to maintain. This is all fairly new for me. I have always been used to someone taking care of me, my mom, and now I have to take care of things. It is a growing process for me, trying to balance all the things life has to give me. Believe me, I thank GOD everyday for all the things I have in life, an amazing Husband, a supportive mother, a job, my health and everything else others may have to struggle to have in life. Back to my stresses though, I was so occupied with school and freaking out about tests and trying to get everything done that I just ATE. I am an EMOTIONAL eater! When I am happy I have a cupcake, when I am sad I have a gallon of ice cream, when I am stressed I have Taco Bell or Mc Donald’s, among other things. I come in contact and devour everything I am not supposed too….eeeeeeek. This is what many define to be an emotional eater as. I become uncontrollable. I even stopped the gym in the middle of the week…. I just felt BLAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!! All of this binge eating lead to a gain of 3.4 pounds OUCH! But I knew what I had to do, I had to get my SHIT together I had to stop my emotion from controlling me, that is one powerful B#$^H. There is also something else I begin to over analyze food and make bad decisions when I was at my healthiest point. I look at the cookie and I say, should I eat it, should I REALLY eat it and my mind goes back and forth for 5 min until I eat it, then I feel kind of guilty and sometimes I feel like I screwed up by eating that cookie and then I just start eating everything else. That is NOT the way to go and I know that. You mess up, who cares, just get back on track. I know I have worked so hard to get where I am and I am not going to let a week of havoc mess me up on my journey. Gotta keep going.
I have also been postless because of exams and my BDAY! It was on 4/20 so I was kind of busy celebrating 🙂
Here is some of the goodies I got from co workers for my BDAY….
Of course I had some of the sweats but I made sure not to take any of it home, except the cupcakes for Bubba.
So my advice to everyone on this beautiful Thursday is mess up, give in so you see how your body reacts to your abuse, your abuse of bad food and not giving it the right attention. Ultimately, you body will retaliate and tell you this is not how I am supposed to feel I have so much MORE to offer when you treat me right.
KIKI wrote: how do you get that lil evil voice that gets you to make bad decisions to shut up and how do you just DO IT?!?!?
April 13, 2010 12:35 PM
That stupid little voice that we all have is something we wish we could all pay a large amount of money for and just surgically remove. I hate it! I have one and it will always be there taunting me, pushing me down, and not pushing me forward to where I know my body should be. DAMN you Evil voice… What really pushed me to eat healthy and stay fit was kind of superficial. I love clothes I have always been amazed of how it can change a person’s mood, how people view others by their clothes, and the beauty of it. So I wanted to look GOOD in my clothes I wanted to feel comfortable and self confident not self conscious. I did not want to have to buy a larger size or stretch out my shirt so it would not stick to my stomach. I did not want an ICE CREAM CONE shaped body because my pants were too tight. I just wanted to feel more CONFIDENT about myself. Now listen, I’m not saying to be self confident you have to be skinny, I just wanted to be comfortable for myself. So I knew the only way was to eat right and work out. Believe me I tried the NO CARB, I did the SOUP DIET, I even took pills. They all worked BUT It just wasn’t ME. I wasn’t happy at all. I had no energy at all, because I did not have the right food in my body. So what I had to do to not gain all that weight back was find the right form of healthy lifestyle for me. I eventually did and that little evil monster started to quiet down. Once I started seeing the results and getting into a routine I got excited, I felt athletic and accomplished. The little evil voice was on mute now. It was still there but I had more control over it and my lifestyle had more control over it. But, it is still there and it is seen in what I wrote today and what happened the past week and a half. It came back and it kicked my ASS! BUT, I knew I worked so hard to get where I was and to just let it all fall apart over a week and go back into a bad way of life was not my goal. So I fought back and I am slowly recovering. You have to give in sometimes because when you don’t you will get hit harder later on. So I am telling you if you want to go to dinner with your friends and enjoy yourself, DO IT! But just remember tomorrow is a new day and you need to get back on track because you owe it to yourself and your body does not deserve that type of abuse, what has it done to you to make you hurt it?

I hope this helps

❤ Nowel


LUV IT!!!!


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